I certainly don’t think of myself as an expert in long distance, but rather, experienced in loving someone over a thousand miles away. Otherwise known as a long-distance relationship. Let me take you back to Fall 2019, we went to college together so long distance did not exist, while we are both college athletes, we only lived 5 minutes away, which was so ideal. COVID hit that March 2020, and while there were many negatives, it was the first time we could do normal couple things and not have our sport dictate most of our time, the only problem: he lives in California, and I live in Arizona. It was also at that time I was in the process of transferring colleges and knew once I left, the true distance would start. Yes, some people call a state a way long distance, but I recognize it at short distance. I moved to the Midwest for my last two years of college, and after my junior year, he got drafted for professional baseball. It was so exciting, but in all honesty, more long distance and we had no idea where he was going until the day he got drafted. I finished up my time in college, and we are currently 1300+ miles away, have a 3-hour time difference, and his schedule has him at the field for 10+ hours a day. How we manage, geez I don’t know, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I often see people on social media talking about long distance, or talking with fellow girlfriends and long distance is no easy task. It requires trust, patience, honesty, connecting in different ways, but most importantly, being a person and having a life outside of your significant other. One thing I have found is that long distance requires you to have your own interests and be your own person, achieving your own goals, while having someone you love far away doing the same. We currently cannot achieve our goals at the same location, granted my life is more flexible, but he is on the east coast 7-8 months out of the year for season. So yeah, he doesn’t get to visit me, the only way to see him is for me to spend a day traveling to spend ¾ of my day without him while he is at the field. The best part, I am so thankful for it. Most of my life consists of long-distance relationships, outside of the relationship with my partner. I have learned the importance of good communication, finding ways to hang out, or go on dates, and not consuming too much of your day talking to them. So, I thought, what better way to talk about this than add a list of tips that get me through long distance. 1. You are your own person with or without your partner. a. Having a partner can be a wonderful addition to your life. Key word: ADDITION. Your partner is not your life. Your partner is not your identity. During long distance, use that time to work on your passions, goals, and dreams, while cheering them on in theirs. This is a time where you and your partner can grow together even if you are physically apart. Always remember, you are an individual with your own life and don’t push that aside for your partner, your dreams and goals are just as important. 2. Agapé a. I cannot recommend this app enough. My boyfriend and I use it to fill out daily questions about our relationship. I highly recommend this if your love language is words of affirmation, or even if you want something extra to feel loved despite the distance. My boyfriend is pretty busy, so at this point I pull up a question or two occasionally and we discuss it. It is nice to have that time to talk and reflect about our relationship or how we think and feel. Definitely check it out, and it’s free! 3. Limit texting/being on the phone all of the time. a. Seriously though. You have stuff to do, so does your partner, so be where your feet are. I’m not saying never text them or have a strict limit but don’t spend your days texting away over nothing. Something that has worked for me is we don’t text too often but facetime here and there for brief times (I’m talking 2–3-minute calls) to check in, catch up, and show each other love. Not spending all day talking or texting makes the phone calls more fun and allows us to do our own thing but being confident in knowing we have each other. 4. Communication!!!!!!! a. Long distance is a little different because your partner will not always be able to know or tell how you are feeling, and they are not experiencing everything that you are. You will have to work a lot harder to communicate things going on and continuing to work on communication throughout the relationship is a commitment you will have to make. 5. Just because you’re not physically together doesn’t mean you can’t have date nights. a. Date nights to me are anything and everything. They can be staying in or going out, but they range so much in my opinion. For long distance, when we see each other, we call our little meals at 2 am when he picks me up from the airport a date. We watch movies or shows online together and use an online source to play them together or be on facetime to watch together. We have even had dinner dates on facetime, where we order for each other and then eat together, logistically this can be a little challenging with delivery timing, but it is so much fun to eat on facetime together. Turn all … Read more
